Ooooooh, I’m A Jealous, Unkown Douche!
Today, I received a comment on an old blog post that is so pathetically mean-spirited that it made me laugh out loud. It’s that fantastic, trust me. I do have comment moderation enabled, but that is only to protect myself from one person and that person is not Mena, the eloquent author of what you’re about to read. The thing is, I want Mena to have a voice and therefore, I not only approved her/his comment but I’m posting it here as well to ensure proper viewing. I want Mena’s voice to ring through the rafters of the interwebs.
As a warning to you, gentle reader, this person uses language that is neither pretty nor child friendly. And despite using colorful words quite often on this very site, I wouldn’t combine any of this language for publication. More importantly, I’d never direct such sentiment toward another human being. Not even Dick Cheney. Which is saying something.
So, some quick back story to give Mena’s statements context: I wrote a piece for CityBeat a while back about John Mayer and how I don’t think he’s somethin’ too special. Read it here if you want to know why. (Incidentally, I think it’s one of my weakest pieces, topic-wise, but you wouldn’t believe the feathers it ruffled. I wrote what I feel was a killer piece about Larry Craig and didn’t hear a peep from a single person, but write about John “Giant-Head” Mayer and ooooh boy, the letters came flooding in. It’s funny what touches people.)
Anyhow, Mena appearently read the piece and doesn’t see things the way I do. It would also appear that Mena can’t just agree to disagree and live in peace knowing that she/he has some seriously bad taste. In fact, I’m fairly sure that the anger exuding from the following comment can be attributed in part to excessive exposure to bubble gum pop. That and the fact that deep down, Mena knows in her/his bitter little heart that I am right.
Okay. Here you go.
Mena’s words exactly as they were sent to me.
“Hey! Fuck you asshole!! At least people know who John Mayer is, who the fuck are you, u cock dripping! Get a fucking life and stop being jealous because John is well known and you are an unkown. DOUCHE!”
And that about sums it up.
I mean, really: Who the fuck am I?
Some people have issues. Serious issues. And WAY TOO MUCH time on their hands.
You are an awesome mother, writer, and wife who has a keen sense of the world that makes others jealous. You say things like they are and that scares people like Mena who wants to have more to do with his/her life than search out your old blog posts and use colorful language.
Maybe Mena just watched the “Leave Britney Alone” video and, feeling all empowered, wanted to defend a pop idol of her/his own.
methinks Mena is Simpsonesque….such as the Iraq.
AHAHAHAHAHA i love the “cock dripping” part. At least she’s imaginative.
I think Mena must have missed her medication…I just can’t see a man getting this worked up over John Mayer. Maybe I’m wrong. Well, at leased to unleashed some sort of passion. I hope to get a reader this worked up someday. Dang.
Several thoughts come to mind when reading that letter, the first being, is Mena male or female? The name “Mena” sure sounds female, but the writing is soooo very male. Women generally don’t write “cock dripping.”
My second thought was, when your writing starts affecting other humans so deeply as this, then you know you have truly arrived.
My third thought was that I have always hated that infantile argument that if you are not famous, you can’t have an opinion of a person who is, or that your level of fame is directly related to your level of sense-making.
If that were true, then by Mena’s own worldview, his/her opinion of Aaryn’s opinion of John Mayer is null because he is less famous than Aaryn is.
Okay, you people are all so great to me. Thank you! I mean, I know that we all have different opinions about schtuff but dammnit if you don’t back me up quite a bit. Many, many thanks to you very funny people!
And if any of you love John Mayer, well, then, that’s you’re business. But please understand that I simply don’t care for him. It’ nothing personal. No need to call me a cock dripping…though that really is hilarious.
Hey Aaryn…guess what. I actually profess to kind of LOVING John Mayer and saw him live, and you know I consider myself as quite “well read” musically. Anyway, I did read your post about John Mayer a while back, and I thought you had a very good point. I actually didn’t agree with you, and thought it was kind of impressive that a youngster such as John Mayer even thought about whether or not he had an opinion about anything..however…look at what a grown up I am, I respected your opinion and agreed to disagree. Isn’t that the way the civilized world works? Good for you for exposing the Mena comment instead of letting it go!!! xx
I think you’re a fucking rockstar. The end.
Aaryn, I have five words for you:
YOUR BODY IS A WONDERLAND.
@Caroline: See how we are? We can still be friends. It’s cool to disagree. It’s not cool to be an asswipe like Mena.
@Al: Dayam! Thank you!
@Katester: I do believe that he uses a contraction, which means you should have offered me four words: Your Body’s A Wonderland. And at times, yes it is.
That John Mayer. For the record, I never once said he didn’t have talent as a guitarist. Never once.
OH! And Caroline, one last thing. At least we both have the most excellent taste when it comes to The Only Man That Matters. His initials are J.B. and he’s been featured on this blog before. And will be again. And again. And again.
Well, I always love a good discourse with people of various viewpoints. And I always know I’ve won when someone comes back with a barely literate rant.
So for those keeping score:
Aayrn the douche: 1 Mena: 0
Unscramble the name Mena and what do you get? MEAN.
Keep on postin’ dear Aaryn.
Peace and love to Mena. Mena needs peace and love.
Oh, my. I’m with Mrs. G. Mena missed his or her meds today (perhaps all month).
Ooo, ooo… I just figured it out!! She didn’t call you “unknown” — she called you “unkown” — which of course breaks down to “un – KOW – n” from the Old English/Germanic “not like a cow.” Meaning graceful and lithe.
That Mena. What a gal.
I totally remember that post and I agreed with you.
I mean why are the musicians who are the most outspoken about this war the same ones who sang about Vietnam 30 some years ago? Our generation should be ashamed.
On a related note some of my European students just told me that Pink’s “Dear Mr. President” was a huge hit in Europe. While I love the song it pissed me off that I NEVER once saw her sing it on TV here. Frankly, I think that sucks. I have no idea how much control Pink has over that stuff, but it is a bit cowardly to release a song like that in Europe where you know that it won’t cause any controversy. Europeans are not the ones who need to hear her message.
Welcome to corporate America.
I forgot to say that I did see / hear her sing other songs from the same album.
Tori Amos has a great anti-Bush song too..but really who’s listening to Tori Amos these days? Actually me…I’m going to her concert on Wednesday..but only to go watch her make love to the piano stool and because my friend bought the tickets
Yes…I agree Aaryn..see how we are
Javier rocks xxx
That would have made a good letter to the editor.
I don’t know who John Mayer is but i’ve heard of wonderful you Aaryn.
So put that in your pipe and smoke it Mena
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Ooooooh, I’m A Jealous, Unkown Douche!, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.
hey daniel.
thanks for stopping by…and yes, this does require a bit of back story. feel free to click the links if you’re just dying to kill some time while at work.