Following the release last week of new statistics supporting a decline in U.S. abortion rates—statistics that both pro-life and pro-choice advocates claim favor their stance—I decided to link on over to the Guttmacher Institute website to see what I could see with my own eyes.
The Guttmacher Institute is the nonprofit organization focused (hallelujah!) on reproductive issues whose research concluded that abortions had declined 25 percent since peaking in 1990 (the data covers only through 2005). Reasons for the steady decline are debatable, but wherever your ideology lands you on the choice spectrum, a decline in abortion is unarguably a good thing.
What is perhaps of equal importance, though, is for every child to be a wanted child and not a resentment born to a woman who had no other choice. In reducing the need for abortions, it might be useful to determine why women choose to have abortions in the first place.
The researchers at Guttmacher obviously had this in mind and published the results of a survey in the January 2008 issue of the Journal of Family Issues. According to “‘I Would Want to Give My Child, Like, Everything in the World:’ How Issues of Motherhood Influence Women Who Have Abortions” by senior researcher Rachel Jones and her colleagues, women’s “sense of responsibility for their existing and future children influences their decision to seek an abortion.”
Dr. Jones’ survey found that 61 percent of women who have abortions in this country already have children, and it is out of a sense of wanting to provide a stable life for their existing kids that they choose abortion. Many of the women in the survey, including those without kids, expressed the desire for an “ideal” situation for becoming mothers.
Gee. I don’t know what they’re talking about.
When I was 19, despite my responsible and unfailing use of contraception, I became pregnant. I was on a full scholarship to college and was completely unprepared—emotionally, psychologically or financially—to have and/or raise a child. I knew my capabilities. And I knew my choices. I chose to have an abortion.
It was a personal decision, one I made with the support of my then-boyfriend, my doctor and my mother. It was without question the right decision for me at the time and still is now. I do not regret it, nor do I make apologies for, harbor shame about or—as some on the pro-life intimidation squadron would suggest—suffer lifelong emotional trauma from it.
Now I’m raising a daughter who was adopted. She is here on this mad planet and (fortunately) in my life because her birthmother made a different choice. Like me, she had the freedom to choose abortion, but unlike me, she opted for the more difficult path; some might say she is the braver woman, and I wouldn’t begin to argue. She chose to carry her baby to term, chose my husband and me to raise her child, chose to relinquish Ruby with the hope that she would have a life better than what she felt she was capable of providing.
(I’d like to say here that I find it ironic how our society is so quick to vilify the woman who chooses abortion but is equally as loathsome of the woman who makes an adoption plan for her baby. Believe me, I’ve been privy to some very special conversations about the latter, but that tangent will take me well beyond the space provided here. Suffice it to say that, apparently, we’re all just stupid whores for winding up pregnant in the first place.)
Clearly, the reasons behind my choice echo the reasons given by the survey’s respondents. I wouldn’t be so presumptuous as to speak for Ruby’s birthmother, but I could take a wild guess as to her reasons, were I so inclined. It is nevertheless telling that our choices occurred more than two decades apart from each other, yet the situation is timeless. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Today, religious folk and self-righteous zealots line up outside health clinics to wave their violent, vulgar, larger-than-life images and shout through bullhorns their righteous morality. They proceed to harass, bully, verbally abuse and demoralize women, many of whom already feel demoralized. If they can’t intimidate the women, these extreme activists intimidate the healthcare workers.
In more than 30 states requiring pre-abortion “counseling,” infuriating lies are dispensed as legitimate information, warning with feigned legitimacy that an abortion will increase a woman’s risk for breast cancer or cause post-traumatic stress disorder. In Missouri, physicians who dare dispense RU486—the “abortion pill,” as the pro-lifers have weaseled into American lexicon—are going to be required to transform their offices into full surgical units. And the state of Mississippi has only one abortion provider. One. In the whole state. This is an indicator of what giving the legislative decision to the states would mean.
This kind of ever-dwindling access is occurring right now, under the protection of Roe vs. Wade, legislation designed to ensure access to a safe and legal abortion for all women, even those in Mississippi. It’s likely that the next president will appoint another Supreme Court justice, and depending on how this election shakes down—I shudder to think—this could very well mean the end of Roe. If it’s overturned, women will still want, need and seek abortions.
The educated and privileged will always have the access; the rest of the suckers will bleed to death.
Look, if these right-to-lifers—who are so interested in what happens with a little clump of cells in the uterus of a woman they don’t know—genuinely cared about “the sanctity of life,” they would put their energy into assuring that the fundamental needs of women and children are met.
Instead of picketing Planned Parenthood, they should picket Congress and demand proper healthcare and decent education; they should demand equal pay for women and better family-leave policies in the workplace; they should help set the stage for the ideal parenting circumstances that anyone considering having children desires. The abortion rate might just plummet.
I really hope Roe v. Wade withstands the violent assault it’s cowered under for the past 35 years so that my daughter will be assured privacy, dignity and respect when it comes to her own personal health decisions. And someday, if she becomes a mother, I hope she does it in the comfort of what she herself deems the ideal circumstances.
(As published in today’s issue of CityBeat.)
26 responses so far ↓
1 Kim // Jan 23, 2008 at 10:22 am
Just yesterday while visiting “Tennessee Guerilla Women” I found a little sign with one of the 50’s style women on it that said, “I’m pro-choice and I riot.”
It spoke to me. If you know what I mean.
2 veronique // Jan 23, 2008 at 1:22 pm
amen sister!
thank you for being more succinct, more rational and overall a great writer. your words make sense, they should be syndicated.
ps. my favorite pin of all time says “i heart pro-choice boys,” (distributed by planned parenthood) i wore during the DNC up through the last coup.. i meant election.
3 Tootsie Farklepants // Jan 23, 2008 at 1:39 pm
I think I love you.
4 Aaryn // Jan 23, 2008 at 1:44 pm
@Kim: Love the quote. Thanks for stopping in. And yes, I do know what you mean.
@veronique: Thank you so very much for the compliments. Damn that coup. Let’s hope this year is different.
@Tootsie: Blushing. I think I love you back.
5 Melanie at BeanPaste // Jan 23, 2008 at 2:03 pm
A. Men. This was a brave thing to write.
And you’re absolutely right: certain groups are so quick to fixate on the fetus, romanticize every unborn life, assert their beliefs on every American woman…and then turn around and vote for lawmakers who promote limited healthcare, childcare, education, and financial support for these same children. It makes my brain explode.
6 Jenn // Jan 23, 2008 at 2:42 pm
wow. on so many levels.
7 Yiftach // Jan 23, 2008 at 2:57 pm
once again, you are my hero. fantastic piece of writing, Aaryn, both in form and content.
8 bonzize // Jan 23, 2008 at 4:57 pm
You are such a part of my heart.
xoxo, Your Fairy Godmother
9 san // Jan 23, 2008 at 5:14 pm
couldn’t agree more.
amen.
10 wenderina // Jan 23, 2008 at 9:53 pm
I’ve never heard the argument better stated and with more personal experience and conviction as someone who has benefited from both sides of choice. Nicely done.
(found you via your guest spot on Mrs. G. - I’m up this week)
11 Sasha // Jan 23, 2008 at 10:10 pm
I applaud you.
12 Martha // Jan 23, 2008 at 10:54 pm
You already know what I think of you.
Amor y mas amor.
13 Mrs. G. // Jan 24, 2008 at 12:37 am
Don’t mess with my right to choose. I get all uppity. Great post. I have to believe that women would not let Roe vs. Wade be over turned. I have to.
14 Prof. J. // Jan 24, 2008 at 3:20 am
Can I get an “Amen?” This is a lovely article. I’m so glad you published it and so glad you posted it.
15 stupidmommy // Jan 24, 2008 at 4:27 am
Yeah, there you go again, making an old (but worth repeating) argument fresh again with your integrity and grace. Awesome.
And yet I wonder, in debates such as this, will argument (and I don’t mean arguing) ever persuade or convince?
16 Reluctant Blogger // Jan 24, 2008 at 4:59 am
I am here courtesy of your appearance at Mrs G’s last week!
Excellent and thought-provoking post. Your experiences give a unique perspective on it all really - abortion and adoption.
I often think of abortion. Because I rather think I should have been an abortion statistic. My mother got pregnant with me when she was young and should have been studying. Unlike you, for some reason I do not really understand, she went ahead with the pregnancy and I was the result. I feel weird about it all - because I cannot help feeling she made the wrong decision for her (she has always I think felt that she missed out on so much because of me and she was most certainly not ready for motherhood) and yet well, I cannot wish I had never been born. But I know that put in the same situation, I would have chosen to have an abortion.
I don’t think the pro-life lobby is quite so powerfu l here and it is somewhat easier to exercise our right to choose.
17 Sara // Jan 24, 2008 at 5:29 am
I *heart* Aaryn.
18 Sandy Feet // Jan 24, 2008 at 11:44 am
That was beautifully written and really exposes the essence of choice. Your perspective is uniquely genuine. Thanks for posting it.
19 Allison // Jan 25, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Brave post, fabulous writing.
20 Laura // Jan 25, 2008 at 3:48 pm
So . . . my family is the type that feels very differently from me, politically speaking and otherwise, and I’m pretty sure they send me these awful incendiary political emails just to piss me off.
In contrast, I come here and get to read your well-written articles that actually make some sense and that I also happen to agree with. It’s so refreshing. And I’m so glad you’re brave enough to print what you have to say. AND you’re a fabulous person besides. I think it’s safe to say I have a little girl-crush on you, in a non-stalker kind of way. Please keep writing.
21 VeloCC // Jan 26, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I love you and I and envy you for your ability to put all these things into such eloquent words.
I went to Law School in Germany and I got really heated up when it came to the subject about abortions.
I have been living in the US for about 4 years now and the longer I live her the more I wonder about the term “free” country.
You spoke out of my heart Aaryn. We have an abortion clinic here in town and I always see those “pro-life” people in front of it. I want to stop and say, hey, why don’t you adopt one of these unwanted kids, or help the one’s that get born into families that are “broken.
You guys remember the shooting we had a few months back here in Omaha, NE? The 19 year old that killed 8 people before he took his own life…., well he was born into a family that was obviously not able to raise him.
One thing that I learnt in Law School was, that criminals are made in Kindergarten…
I don’t want to judge anybody and I think, that EVERY woman should make her very own decision when the time comes.
And about those Supreme Court Judges. A Judge should be independent and non-political.
Not selected by a party……
I am not giving up hope that we (women) will be free one day and will be able to decide what we do and what is good for us….
22 Jenn // Jan 27, 2008 at 9:10 am
*applause* Thank you so much.
I put a link to this post on my blog. I hope that’s okay. If not, just let me know and I’ll remove it ASAP.
23 Claire B // Jan 27, 2008 at 7:09 pm
You are brave and eloquent and I applaud you. I thank you for speaking up and speaking out. And I wholeheartedly agree with every. single. word. you. wrote.
“The educated and privileged will always have the access; the rest of the suckers will bleed to death.”
‘Twas ever thus. And ever will be.
24 Bipolarlawyercook // Jan 29, 2008 at 10:37 am
Thanks for such a personal and well-argued post. You’ve captured much of my argument about what being a consistent “pro-lifer” should mean. Because I am vicious, however, I also ask anyone with whom I am “discussing” the subject how many unwanted children they have adopted or fostered, and whether they voted for representatives who supported funding WIC and Head Start. They always get sooooo confused.
25 aaryn b. // Jan 29, 2008 at 11:48 am
Thanks to each and every one of you for leaving such nice comments. Whether you agree or not, I’m thankful that you were gentle. I don’t think I’m doing anything amazing here…just telling a story that I needed to tell. I appreciate all the feedback!
26 Malcolm // Jan 30, 2008 at 3:28 pm
sometimes i’m glad i live in the uk - for a number of reasons and you’ve made me think of another - the anti-abortion lobby is not so strong
still I think the right to choose is not as strongly supported as it was
great article aaryn
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