This summer, as in the past two summers, we spent five Saturday evenings attending free concerts in a neighborhood park. We, along with friends, haul a bunch of food and wine and children and wagons and wine to Bird Park, where the kids run and dance and pretty much live their lives for a brief period with very limited rule. We adults? We drink the wine and let the children live their lives for a brief period with very limited rule. It’s fun for everyone. It’s grounding. It’s the stuff of which memories are made.
During this summer’s concerts, I noticed one particular couple just in front of the stage, dancing to nearly every song, no matter the music genre (except one, and that’s not their fault). It was hard not to notice them because, from head to toe, they were dressed alike. They wore the same pink hat. The same pink oxford shirt. They wore brown leather belts and khaki pants. They even sported the same Nike tennis shoes with the matching pink Swoosh.
A cynic might find them silly, perhaps even demented. But a romantic thinks they’re sweet and lovely and hopeful. A romantic watches them with a grin on her face and bites her lip to keep from crying in public in daylight. A romantic creates their story in her mind. And a certain romantic—who often wears the veneer of cynicism when it comes to love—decides to bring her camera to the last concert hoping to capture the magic.
I took a bunch of pictures in less than ideal light and then, before the concert was over, noticed them leaving. I chased them down and introduced myself. They stopped with all their gear and happily obliged my inquisition.
So please, it’s my pleasure to introduce you to Frank & Diane:
Frank & Diane have been married 55 years this coming January. But! As Frank was quick to tell me with blue eyes as electric as the sky above them, their love affair began before that, when he was only 14. These lovers go out dancing every night and when I interrupted their early departure, they were headed home to use the loo and then to the Hilton on the Bay, where they intended to dance until well after dark.
They always dress alike for dancing. Frank shared with me a story he loves to tell, about a day when he and Diane were shopping at Macy’s. It was shortly after Macy’s had been bought out by The Broadway and the shirts were so deeply discounted, the couple bought fifty: 25 for him, 25 for her. In all different colors. On Sunday, they planned to wear their red ensembles.
I didn’t have time to get into the logistics of the shoes. But I did ask them my most pressing question: What’s your secret to a happy marriage?
They looked at each other and smiled. Diane, clearly the less outgoing of the two, rolled her eyes upward and chuckled. “Give and take. It’s give. And take.”
“And sometimes,” Frank continued, eyes glittering, “you give 100%. Sometimes you give more than 100%.” Then he added, “You know, we’ve gone to bed madder ‘an hell! Madder ‘an hell! But when you wake up…
it’s a new day. You wipe the slate clean and start again.”
23 responses so far ↓
1 yasmine // Aug 20, 2008 at 11:32 pm
o mein gott. they’re so adorable and beautiful together, and the romantic in me loved this post. HIGHFIVE to you, aaryn, for taking their photos and chasing them down to hear their stories, too.
and thank you for sharing with us!
PS: 25 differently colored shirts?!
2 lisa // Aug 21, 2008 at 12:35 am
beautifully written aaryn~
3 kerryanne // Aug 21, 2008 at 1:28 am
that was beautifully written
loving your blog more and more as time goes by.
4 robyn // Aug 21, 2008 at 4:20 am
I’m so glad you got the chance to talk to them. What a wonderful story.
5 san // Aug 21, 2008 at 6:24 am
It’s wonderful to see that happy marriages exist in a world full of divorces!
6 Angel // Aug 21, 2008 at 7:30 am
This is exactly what I needed to read this morning. Reminds me that its possible to go to bed “madder ‘an hell!” and still make things work!
7 Stephanie // Aug 21, 2008 at 7:53 am
A beautiful love story, and beautifully told!
8 amelia // Aug 21, 2008 at 8:02 am
What a wonderful story! I’m not so sure about the matching outfits… but dancing every night? Hell yeah.
“Give and take” really is what it’s all about. A friend that saw me through a few bad relationships before I met Javi asked me why this one worked so well. I told him that Javi and I have a rule: he always gets the last bite of food and I always get the last bit of drink. It’s a silly compromise, I know, but it reminds us both not to be too selfish. There’s a simple pleasure in doing something just because it makes the other person happy. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. The last bite of cheesecake seems to do the trick. It serves as a constant reminder that we each value the other and are willing to “give and take” to make the other happy. And it seems to work- next monday we’ll celebrate 10 years together.
9 amaya // Aug 21, 2008 at 8:54 am
10 Tammy // Aug 21, 2008 at 9:06 am
What a sweet story!! We have free concerts in our neighborhood park too. At the last one, my husband saw a cute elderly couple walking by holding hands and smiling at each other. And he (always a true romantic) said, “That’s going to be us someday.”
(I think me meant it in a nice way, not in the grey-hair, sagging-butt way you talked about yesterday).
Thanks for sharing this, and for chasing them down. We could all use the reminder.
11 amaya // Aug 21, 2008 at 9:26 am
that was supposed to be “tearing up”
12 Jennifer // Aug 21, 2008 at 9:44 am
I certainly have not learned my lesson about NOT reading your writing when I am working…what a fabulous, inspiring, story that has my eyes welled with tears while I now need to dismiss my 1st graders to recess. WOW. great advice and sweet thoughts.
Thanks!
13 bonzize // Aug 21, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Very lovely - as are all your pictures from this day. Thanks xoxo
14 Anna // Aug 21, 2008 at 1:36 pm
That is the sweetest story ever!
15 Cheri @ Blog This Mom! // Aug 21, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Wow. I’m totally crying. Totally.
16 LilSass // Aug 21, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Their outfits are both hysterical and adorable. I say, after all that hard work they’ve earned it!
17 Yiftach // Aug 21, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Beautiful. Just. Beautiful.
Like you, I’m a romantic who sometimes wears the cynic’s coat. I inadvertently encapsulated that with my last two blog posts:
Romantic: http://www.howdoyoujew.com/2008/07/31/hope-for-humanity/
Cynic: http://www.howdoyoujew.com/2008/08/21/our-civilization-is-doomed-reason-128212/
The two posts were done almost a month apart, so I really had no recollection of the earlier one when I posted today, but it was an interesting dichotomy.
Thanks for reminding me of the pleasures of romanticism.
18 stacy // Aug 22, 2008 at 12:32 am
aw, girl, you made me cry.
19 Kia // Aug 24, 2008 at 10:44 am
i believe i heard this particular piece of wisdom uttered aboard a cruise ship, but it seems appropriate to repeat it here:
the couple that dances together, stays together.
20 gitz // Aug 24, 2008 at 9:14 pm
I so love that… and I admit I’m a romantic with no cynical veneer. I just own it.
My parents have always danced together in the kitchen. I wrote about it here:
http://gitzengirl.blogspot.com/2008/05/and-they-danced.html
I swear to God it really did make for a secure childhood. And if I was married, a prerequisite would be dancing. Of course, I’m single… so what the hell do I know?
sara
21 apathetic bliss // Aug 25, 2008 at 8:09 am
awwwww….that was wonderful….I love the bit about each day being a fresh one because I HAVE gone to bed mad and the next day it just seems better….
22 gingirljen // Aug 25, 2008 at 8:26 pm
What an adorable story and wonderful couple.
lucky photo shots
23 Mrs. G. // Aug 26, 2008 at 10:46 am
How did I miss this? I’m not wild about the idea of wearing matching outfits with Mr. G, but if I thought it would inspire him to take me out dancing regularly, I seriously might consider it.
Thanks for making my day with this one, A.
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