Packers by 21
Okay. So. Let’s say that Sam fires up his Mini this weekend, scoots to Las Vegas and places a bet on the Green Bay Packers game this Sunday against the Tennessee Titans. He may drop a few quarters in a slot machine or enjoy a lap dance on the way to the betting office, but that has no bearing on my story. (For those of you who aren’t football fans: Please, bear with me. I’m going somewhere with this.)
The spread is five-and-a-half points in favor of the undefeated Titans, who might be a little extra tired since they’ll be playing their second game in one week. This is mitigated, however, by the Titans’ home field advantage. Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers is playing with a hurt shoulder but maybe it’s not so much of a liability since the 4-and-3 Pack are coming off a bye week and Rodgers has surely been icing (c’mon all you writer-types, hear me out).
By definition, the Pack are considered the underdog. If, at some point during this game, Green Bay pulls ahead—in Sam’s world, they would earn three touchdowns, the cushion at which he relaxes and stops slapping my thigh with every pathetic down—even given this, the Titans don’t suddenly become the underdog. Right? Underdog status isn’t in play. The Packers are, and remain, the underdog throughout the game.
Now. John McCain keeps muttering about his underdog status and if you look at the Wikipedia definition as applied only to current polls and the fiery display that is McCain’s campaign, and if you somehow managed to place your bet at the two-minute warning (i.e. after the economic crisis spoiled McAngry’s attempt at a winkin’ mammary coup), I suppose one could argue that he’s not entirely wrong. Which is probably why he’s never called on it and which is where I come in. Oh, to have a purpose!
I’m here to tell Mr. Maverick, Mr. I-called-my-wife-a-cunt, that he is not the underdog. Yes, he’s behind in the polls. But that doesn’t mean he’s the underdog. That means he’s losing.
Because you see, given that every single president in the 232 year history of the United States has been a white man, bets were placed and locked in against Obama—the true long-shot, the real underdog—from the beginning. Even if McCain was at one point a long shot within his own party, he brought 43 presidents and white privilege to the Big Game. And that makes him the odds-on favorite.
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