aaryn belfer.

Mostly sweet, a little sour

I’m still trying to process all the emotions I’ve been feeling since Tuesday night. I can barely believe it’s real, that Barack Obama is our next president, and what that means to me, to my daughter, to our nation, to the world. When I awoke at 3:00 in the morning on the 5th, I actually pinched myself. Lying in the dark, I thought of the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. spoken on April 3, 1968, the night before he was assassinated:

Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!

Certainly, we are living this prophetic goal and the enormity of it overtakes me in thundering waves. But my elation has a bittersweetness to it; there is still struggle and there will be until all people have equal rights. The Golden State has shown the world her ugly side; blue California still breathes hot red bigotry and the passage of Proposition 8 stands in stark contrast to the progress we watched unfold on the national stage. For the first time I can think of, the citizens of California have amended our constitution to take rights away from people and that is nothing short of shameful. Because of this, my elation was tempered.

But I’m not despondent and here’s why: Those narrow-minded folks who used deceit in their advertising, who tricked and frightened a small majority of terribly confused Californians with the financial backing of the Mormon church, these unscrupulous idealogues will eventually take same-sex marriage to the Supreme Court. And guess who is going to have at least one (maybe as many as three!) appointments during the next four years? Yes, indeed. Our new steward, Barack Obama! Hell-OH! I believe we overwhelmingly elected a president who would not put a judge on the court who doesn’t support civil rights for all citizens.

While this latest denial of equality and basic rights is a sad reflection of an ever-shrinking sliver of haters in our country, progress will come. It takes time to get to that mountain top but we will get there. Barack Obama is leading us now.


14 Comments

I agree with you 110%.

I can’t for the life of me understand how they could put up the rights of a minority for popular vote. This just seems wrong in the first place. Minorities have to be protected!

But I am hopeful. Change will come.

Posted by san on 6 November 2008 @ 8am

I can’t figure out how it takes a 2/3 majority to raise taxes and only a simple majority to amend the constitution. This isn’t over by a long shot.

Posted by Jenn @ Juggling Life on 6 November 2008 @ 9am

‘A New Day’ by Celine Dion just came on my iPod. I sit here at my desk and weep … again. After viewing all the pictures, reading, watching the news, celebrating in the streets, I don’t know how much more of this emotion I can handle.
And although I still vote in California and you are my homeland, I am swimming in all of these positive feelings in DC … my sadness about Prop. 8 has been over-shadowed.

With that being said, it deeply saddens me to make progress in one area, while stepping on the backs of another. As they say, separate but equal is NOT equal.

I remain confused how the popular vote overturns something the State Supreme Court has already voted on. I DON’T.UNDER.STAND!!! They say it’s unconstutional and the voters just get to say, “Well, we don’t agree”. Huh?

From a strategic standpoint, holding a No. on 8 sign in The Castro and in Hollywood is a waste of time. Those people should have been POUNDING on the doors of people in the Central Valley. People like you and I are the “choir” in this preaching contest.

Aayrn, I have thought of Ruby many many times in the past 3 days. The cup of my hope chalice overruneth with joy that two little precious girls will be living down the street from me that finally, after all our struggles, look just like her.

Kiss Kiss,
LilSass

Posted by LilSass on 6 November 2008 @ 10am

I will ask, then I will take cover.

Have there really been any rights stripped, other than to the word marriage?

Posted by S on 6 November 2008 @ 10am

One more thing (I can’t shut up these days) … I don’t want to start a controversy here but can we revel in the fact that 4 failed?? NO ON 4 PASSED!!!!

Probably because the Mormons shone the spotlight on 8 and left the ‘ol abortion argument off the bargaining table. AND another prop (in some other state) turned down limiting access to abortions. As woman who are vehemently pro-choice THESE are good reasons to celebrate.

Posted by LilSass on 6 November 2008 @ 10am

@ San: Yes!

@Jenn: My friends and I have been discussing how outrageous it is that a state constitution can be amended with a 50.1% vote. That should change.

@Lil Sass: I’m totally experiencing the same thing. Still crying on and off today. And thank you for thoughts of Ruby. I cry every time I see Malia and Sasha because I see my baby in them.

And Prop 4…well, I’ll get to that, soon.

@S: No need to take cover. Yes, rights have been taken away by Proposition 8: The legally protected right for all people, regardless of race or gender to be married. The California state supreme court declared it was unconstitutional to deny this right to same-sex couples. Just because 52% of voting Californians disagree does not make them right. Just like prohibition on interracial marriage, this latest prohibition on gay marriage will be overturned by the Supreme Court and gays will be permitted to marry all across the country. It won’t happen tomorrow. But it will happen. I feel very certain of this.

And by the way, people have rights. Words do not have rights. So your suggestion that the word “marriage” has been stripped of it’s rights is nonsensical.

Posted by Aaryn on 6 November 2008 @ 11am

As a Canadian, I have to tell you how exciting this election has been for the rest of the world. I lost many hours of sleep worrying about the outcome. We’ve been bullied, threatened (the term “with us or against us” comes to mind), and belittled by one man’s arrogance for eight solid years.

I cried when Obama and his beautiful family walked onto the stage Tuesday night. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve witnessed in a long time. This has been a powerful and uplifting week all over the world. I got up yesterday morning and felt a spring in my step. I feel that I’m living on a better planet that can finally begin to heal and work together.

Congratulations America. We’re all celebrating with you.

Posted by jillian on 6 November 2008 @ 11am

@S: The term “Marriage” is important for two reasons. First, from a legal standpoint being “married” is still different than being in a “civil union”. Opponents of gay marriage will argue that they are the same, but the reality is that they aren’t and never will be. Civil unions are a fairly new concept and the legal weight they carry is, in practice, not the same as marriages. The rights that apply to a married couple have been established and battle-tested for hundreds of years in the forges of our judicial system. The words “married” and “marriage” appear thousands of times over in the documents that govern our legal system. As soon as you refer to something by a different name, you automatically take it out from under the protection of those laws.

The second reason is simply one of respect. “Marriage” describes the ultimate commitment two people can make to eachother. In our society there is a universal understanding as to what “being married” means - the promises and obligation it implies, the emotions it kindles. It is this common understanding, in fact, upon which are laws are based. To deny someone the right to enter into that institution, to rightfully apply that term to themselves, is to implicitely say they aren’t capable of feeling those emotions, or fulfilling those promises and obligations.

In short, denying someone access to the term “marriage” is disrepectful and demeaning. Like Aaryn, I’m am absolutely certain there will come a day when the Supreme Court strikes all these embarassing amendments to state constitutions down.

Posted by Robert K on 6 November 2008 @ 12pm

*goosebumps*

Posted by amaya on 6 November 2008 @ 12pm

still pinching myself.

Posted by Kerryanne on 6 November 2008 @ 12pm

On Wednesday I sat here crying for joy as the results came in, and later as I listened to his speech. The thumbs up, pats on the back, and messages I’ve received from people over here is amazing! Not only am I proud of my country, but so are all New Zealanders, they have the same hope in the ability of our country to change that we do. It’s a beautiful thing.

On Thursday I woke up to the news coming out of California, Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida, and I wept just as hard as the day before. I don’t understand how people can turn out to vote for Obama and then on the same ballot vote to discriminate and take away the rights of others.

But I am encouraged for the same reason you state! I look forward to the day when the USA will stand for equality for ALL, not just some.

Plus, there were propositions that didn’t get through in many states that show how public perception of other issues (like a woman’s right to her body) are changing for the better. So overall I think there is much to feel hopeful for today.

Posted by Tiara on 6 November 2008 @ 2pm

As always, you say it better than I can. But it is a little creepy that we were both on the same theme at the same time this morning…

Posted by amelia on 6 November 2008 @ 3pm

I got chills reading this. It is so true, but I too was saddened for my gay and lesbian friends out in Cali. I really thought it would passed and was shocked when it didn’t. But I think we will see it happen in the next 4 years.

Posted by melanie on 6 November 2008 @ 4pm

@Robert K: I also believe that day will come. I thank you for your eloquence.

Posted by S on 6 November 2008 @ 5pm

Leave a Comment

Let’s get this party started. Let’s be Dixville Notchian. Twofer: A little eye candy with our new administration