aaryn belfer.

Wherever I go, there I am

This is a writing exercise from my friends Stacy and Mary–they tagged me on Fakebook and I couldn’t resist. It originated with their friend Seth and it should be said that all three of them are very talented writers. If anyone wants to give it a try, please let me know when you’ve posted so I can come read.

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I live too often for the future, missing what’s happening now, even though I realize I’m doing it.

I work for a woman who, while conversing in my office one time, started her period, snatched three Kleenex tissues from the box on my desk, lifted her skirt and stuffed them into her underwear. She was wearing fishnet stockings with Birkenstock sandals and a denim prairie skirt. We’ve never discussed the many things wrong with the scenario.

I talk loudest when I’ve been drinking and almost always feel embarrassed later.

I wish I had lived alone in my own apartment just once my life, so I knew what it would be like not to feel guilty for leaving dishes in the sink, underwear on the floor, books stacked on the headboard.

I enjoy the hum of the refrigerator after putting my daughter down for her nap and the sound of clothes turning over in the dryer.

I look in the mirror and always see what I don’t like first.

I smell the canyon at dusk and inhale to savor it but usually can’t smell it anymore after a third breath.

I hide my vibrator—okay, my vibrators—when I go out of town, even if nobody is staying at my house.

I pray only when I’m desperate: Even though I don’t believe in it, I know it can’t hurt.

I walk with long fast strides, a natural pace that my mother at one time misconstrued as me not wanting to be with her.

I sing in the car but my daughter tells me to stop, which makes me want to sing louder.

I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue, make chicken pot pie from scratch, and stand up for what I believe in without appearing to doubt myself.

I watch the checker at Target bag my things and can imagine her watching late-night television in her lonely apartment. She’s un-pretty, she’s losing her hair and I think that most people probably look past her. I want to touch her hand and tell her it’s okay, that she’s not alone. But maybe she is and anyway, she’d think I was crazy.

I yearn to be free sometimes of the life I’ve chosen and instead travel the world alone with my camera.

I daydream about traveling the world alone with my camera. I would love it but…then…who would I show my pictures to at the end of the day?

I want to not want all of the material things I want.

I cry too easily and at unexpected moments but I don’t ever look beautiful when I’m doing it.

I read and read and read as much as time permits and then feel myself lost along the spectrum of writerly talent.

I love my life but still find myself thinking, “Is this all there is?” And then…

…I wonder what’s wrong with me that I have such simmering discontent.

I touch my daughter’s skin and imagine what it’s like to be in it.

I hurt my head today by slamming it into the corner of a bookshelf. There was blood all over my hand. It dripped down my face and onto my jeans and I thought about the time my brother cracked my head open. I have never liked him.

I fear dying, being alone, and being homeless. I fear dying alone and homeless.

I hope my daughter is never called “nigger” but I’m afraid it’s inevitable and I know my heart will be broken each time hers is.

I break even when I go to Las Vegas because I always pocket the original amount I’ve gambled and because I know when to stop.

I eat in the middle of the night, usually standing by the light of the refrigerator. I’m generally too tired to brush my teeth before going back to bed.

I quit having the “social cigarette” after I had pneumonia earlier this year. I miss the buzz but my hangovers aren’t as brutal.

I bathe with my daughter and am envious of her young flesh and the happiness she derives from a plastic tumbler.

I drink one cup of coffee every weekday morning, two on weekends, each with a little milk and one cube of raw sugar.

I save the best of myself for my child and sometimes this hurts my marriage.

I hug people and this can be extremely awkward if the person I’m hugging isn’t a hugger, which is often something I don’t find out until I move to hug them.

I miss the dizziness of falling in love, the early and exciting days of my marriage, and sometimes long for something else. But I also cherish the depth and richness that the years have given my relationship.

I forgive my father for not wanting me.

I’ve learned that nothing is permanent, everything changes, that you have to hold on when life is tough and recognize when it’s glorious.

I have to learn to get over the fact that my ass is round. I’m nearly forty and it’s time to accept myself as I am.

I don’t have time for all the things I want to do. I try to jam everything in to a tiny 24-hour space, then I wonder why I missed my exit.

I kiss my husband’s bare shoulder while he sleeps at night because sometimes, the only way I can be tender toward him is when he’s unaware of it.

I wonder …didn’t I already do this one?


16 Comments

THis is really awesome Aaron! I would have said the exact same thing on quite a few of them. I may try to do this one. I’ll let you know.

p.s. I only eat (and crave) sweets in the middle of the night. The rest of the time I have no desire for them whatsoever. And I’m not a closet eater or over eater or fat, so I have no idea where this comes from but OMG! Chocolate pecan pie at 2am with a big glass of ice cold milk is so devine. And I don’t brush my teeth before I go back to bed either ;)

Posted by melanie on 7 December 2008 @ 4pm

The fact that your boss could do that, and you didn’t lose it completely, amazes me. Then again, you always amaze me.

Posted by Jenn @ Juggling Life on 7 December 2008 @ 5pm

You have inspired me to write me own list which I hope to share with you someday.

I love you, my friend. Let us be round in the arse together. Because round as they may be, they are sweet and ours.

Posted by Martha on 7 December 2008 @ 8pm

This is the perfect thing to read on a gray Monday morning.

For what it’s worth: the few times I was called nigger or other racial slur, I didn’t tell my parents. I wanted to fight my own battles. I wasn’t afraid to tell them, just wanted to handle it myself. Not sure why I felt the need to share that. Anyway, I hope no ever tries to break her spirit that way.

Posted by Melanie @ MelADramatic Mommy on 8 December 2008 @ 9am

*stands shyly*
hey…. long time reader, first (or second) time commenter….

I did this and figured that I would just pump out some silly answers that covered up the seriousness, but then I actually cried at some point and…..

crap.

I’m hoping, in the sad event she does get called an ugly name, that Ruby is old enough that it doesn’t scar her too deeply. I was in middle school before I was called a Beaner or a Spic and, thankfully, I was able to smile, say thank you, and walk away. It hurt, but I was able to realize that the person who did it was…. stupid.

:)

Posted by arwen on 8 December 2008 @ 12pm

[...] mogosmom @ 6:51 pm This is a writing exercise stolen from my Brother’s friend Aaryn over at “thematically fickle.” I regularly stalk her blog and Flickr account. She is a very talented writer and photographer. [...]

Posted by The Blog of Eternal Wench on 8 December 2008 @ 6pm

Good Monday morning excercise. I did it too.

Posted by Beth on 8 December 2008 @ 6pm

Wow this is so honest and so interesting!

Posted by laura on 8 December 2008 @ 7pm

Thanks for sharing the writing exercise. I feel compelled to do write my own, but I don’t know if I could be as brave as you and put it on my blog. I always feel self-conscious about revealing too much of my inner-world, but that’s what blogs are for, right?

Posted by Mark on 8 December 2008 @ 8pm

wow- thanks for posting this. I read it twice…
I think I’ll do the same but not sure I’m as gutsy as you to post it. Maybe.

Posted by Kerryanne on 9 December 2008 @ 7am

This is one of the most honest, beautiful pieces you’ve written. You should consider doing some formating and printing it. It would be a great piece to frame and hang in your house or at least put into a scrapbook somewhere for days when you need to look at it. It’s really wonderful!

Posted by Jennifer on 9 December 2008 @ 8am

“I hide my vibrator—okay, my vibrators—when I go out of town, even if nobody is staying at my house.”

…and they are usually displayed on the night stand, coffee table or turn up in other random places around the house? I hide mine even when I don’t go away…and at the moment, i live alone. hmmmm?
i should probably take a shot at this writing exercise.!!

Posted by Susan on 10 December 2008 @ 3pm

Did it…hardest thing I’ve had to write…well, one of the hardest. Thanks for sharing!

Posted by ro on 10 December 2008 @ 10pm

I live inside the head of a lunatic. I work under a large, heavy rock. I talk to calm myself down. I wish I tried to be a photographer before I became a banker. I enjoy letting my mind wander. I look like I’m in my thirties. I smell after soccer practice. I hide but nobody’s looking for me. I pray that someone’s listening to my prayers. I walk into walls while looking. I sing praises to those who can help me see the lighter side. I can but often I don’t. I watch the clock but it’s not moving. I yearn for the days when I didn’t worry about earning a living. I daydream out loud, usually at business meeting. I want to understand my feelings. I cry for the good guy. I read to find answers. I love with my soul. I wonder why others don’t. I touch the phone but I dare not call. I hurt but don’t show scars. I fear failure. I hope my children will have a better life. I break bread with friends. I eat when I’m not hungry. I quit being nice to people that I don’t like. I bathe regularly. I drink sand and pretend it is water. I save receipts and then forget where I put them. I hug with my heart. I miss living closer to old friends. I forgive without first finding resolution. I’ve learned that there are things I can’t change. I have to get up too early. I don’t have the confidence that I used to have. I kiss an empty heart. I wonder why I didn’t leave this on my blog.

Posted by Last Place Finisher on 14 December 2008 @ 4pm

Thanks for the amazing inspiration. I stole the activity, partook in the painstakingly honest and self reflective exercise and without too much fear – posted it to my blog. Enjoy!

Posted by Kimber on 15 December 2008 @ 1pm

So open and honest – these are the things worth reading.

Posted by Kitten At Play on 22 December 2008 @ 10am

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