Mmmmm, okay. Thanks? I think? No, really: Thank you. Thank YOU! Merci! Muchas gracias!

2) Share “10 honest things” about yourself.

1. I wear my pajamas, a.k.a. my Uniform, as often as I possibly can.

2. I think death will be a lot like being under anesthesia: I won’t even know I’m gone. This makes me a lot less afraid of it than I used to be and more appreciative of Right Now. I mean Now. Okay, NOW is already in the past but I mean Right This Instant. Pfffft! Gone! You get the idea.

3. While I think I got the death thing all squared away, I’m terrified of failure and can expertly employ excuses to avoid even trying.

4. I watched the Rachel Zoe Project one time, by accident, and was swirly-eyeballs hypnotized. I think she is one of the most pretentious, self-absorbed, catastrophic women I’ve ever not seen in real life. She’s oily, too, which bugs the compassion right out of me. Like, who rubs her down with the EVOO? She is exactly the kind of woman I would never want to be or be friends with, for that matter. And yet, despite it all, I would let her dress me. For free, no less.

5. I like to paint my husband’s toenails. He has perfect feet. Blue or green or glitter polish preferred.

6. I take a lot of pictures but have very little idea what I’m doing.

7. By the time my father dies, he won’t remember that he didn’t love me. I will remember but I’ve made my peace with it. My daughter will always know her father loves her more than anything else.

8. I loathe Crocs, cats, Disney themed clothing on adults, the advertising of religious beliefs via bumper sticker or window decal, pickled herring, bigotry, ignorance, Rachel Zoe (see above), ostentatious jewelry and burping. To paraphrase Dorothy Parker, these things—individually as well as collectively—are not just plain terrible, they’re fancy terrible. They are terrible with raisins in it.

9. As long as I’m talking about fancy terrible with raisins, have you seen Kathie Lee Gifford lately? She falls in my love-to-hate category. I just can’t get enough of her yuk-yuk-yuk laugh and frenetically blinking eyes.

10. Everyday, I wake up to a kiss goodbye, the Perfect Cup of Coffee on my nightstand, and the knowledge that I’m not half the partner my personal barista is. It’s good to play up, I say.

Whew. That was…something. Finally, per my lovely friend:

3) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged me.

Okay, see, this is where I have to bail. I just can’t do it to anyone else. But I invite you all to please play along and if you do, leave a link in the comments so I can come read all about your honest scat. I mean, crap. I really want to hear it, I do. I just can’t help being the weakest link in this chain. And oh, hey, as long as I’m being honest? I’d like you to know that WordPress formats my photos however the fuck it decides it wants to at any particular moment, and the fact that the motherf!*^%!g award banner up there at the top is aligned LEFT makes me crazy like a crooked painting in the home of a stranger, which I can never stop myself from fixing. That I can’t fix that banner up there is nearly enough to make me want to delete the stupid fucker.