Dear John Mayer,
When Playboy asked you whether black women “throw themselves” at you, you said:
“I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.”
Well, jeeze. This is awkward but…dude! You said that—among many other inane things— OUT LOUD. To a reporter. And anyway, do you really think your racist dick is the reason black women don’t dig you?
The Benetton folks must be cringing.
Honey, you are an affront to frat boys everywhere and that’s a damn near impossible feat. You are not smart. You are not cute. You are not deep. You are not intellectual or witty or cool or hip or dope or fly or whatever it is you fancy yourself to be. You have a small, small, small brain and a very big mouth. You are a self-important asshat raised to the 11th power, quadrupled by dickheadery, topped with three servings of phony and one heaping scoop of overcompensation.
Do humanity a favor, John Mayer, and please stop talking. Just shut the fuck up and go far away. Make that annual Mayercraft Cruise of yours permanent. Put on your Gopher-from-The-Love-Boat costume, set your vessel on starboard tack and make a bee line for an iceberg.
Just…yeah. Don’t come back.
xoxox,
~aaryn
EWWWWWWWWWWWW. What the hell happened to him?!
Amen. What an abysmal excuse for a human being.
His body, it certainly is a wonderland.
Lucky, lucky black women.
Don’t sugar-coat it so much, Aaryn–give it to him straight!
He’s gross.
Who’s John Mayer? No… seriously…. who’s John Mayer? BTW, I have a bathing suit just like his, but I only wear it when I’m tan.
I’m having flashbacks of past letters to John Mayer… Hahahaha!
He truly is disgusting.
sad face, i think he’s really cute.. :/ i even thought he looked a little sexy in the mankini.. what is wrong with me! im such a sad excuse for a gay man :/
Stumbled across this.
God forbid an interview in Playboy magazine would include something offensive and subversively funny.
“You are a self-important asshat” – this from someone with their own blog.
However, you are funny. Good day.
@Lance: I have no problem with subversive or offensive content (as this blog plainly falls into those categories on a regular basis). I have a problem with the fact that John Mayer is an idiot. That’s all.
Thanks for reading and for leaving a comment.