One Love

I never really understand why people are hesitant to take their kids to the Gay Pride Parade. Over the weekend, I had several different conversations about it—since I’d planned to take Ruby—and got several interesting reactions. One couple I met at breakfast this morning said that they’d always wanted to go, but motioned toward their six-year old and whispered that they’d heard it’s “basically a porn show.” Another friend dismissed it because all the “cocks” aren’t appropriate for her daughters.

Now, the porn thing is off by astronomical distances: This is a public event with participants from all across the city. The Mayor was in this past Saturday’s Pride parade, as was Republican Ron Roberts from the County Board of Supervisors, and believe me, there isn’t anything remotely titillating or even vaguely pornographic about either of these guys. Even the public defender’s office represented with a float bearing the slogan “Getting people off since 19[something or other]!”

However, while nobody was whipping out their cocks along University Avenue during this weekend’s party, I have to admit that my friend’s concern was wholly legitimate.

I stand corrected because I did indeed see Cox at the parade. As did my daughter and my bestie’s daughter and all the many children and grown-ups and families who sat on the curb in the heat, beneath a sky the color of swimming pools, sharing sun screen and snacks and spray bottles, celebrating our gay brothers and sisters.

Ruby was very excited about all the swag, the horses ridden by the Wells Fargo people (I suppose it could be argued that bankers are pornographic), and the stilt walker.

I was excited about my friend Barbarella‘s piglet, Carnitas—who may have cured me of my bacon habit forever—and the Gay Men’s Chorus, since my friends Skip and Andy were marching.

I didn’t find Skip and Andy but they were out there and they were proud, I know.

Oh, and speaking of excitement, Ruby just about peed her pants at the sight of the man with the RAINBOW! HAIR!

Who’s not tickled by RAINBOW! HAIR!?

Personally, I was tickled by the message on his shirt because the message is the reason I bring my daughter to the parade. Love, not hate, is what I wish to instill in her.

I guess this could be considered Jesus porn because I was practically orgasmic at the sight of these folks. Standing there in the street watching groups of people march beneath such signs is encouraging. They make you believe in humanity and remind you that The Rock church doesn’t represent all Christians. Just too many of them.

Of course, I’d be lying if I represented the parade as all Hail Marys and Holy Water. There was a little bit of shaking, jangling flesh out there, too. And God Bless it!

So she has pasties on her nibbles. Still: Not porn. Just a little edgy. And, I’m guessing, much cooler than my flesh-toned padded bra that’s so old it has dimples. Anyway, have you been to the beach lately? Right. Moving along…

Every parade is better with queens:

In fact, pretty much every situation in life is improved by the presence of a drag queen.

However, the people you really want on your side when the chips are down (or up, no matter) is your family. Which is why PFLAG is the greatest part of the Parade every single year. PFLAG is, hands down, the very best group, float or no float.

I challenge anyone to remain stony when these people walk by. I wanted to run up and hug them. Instead I took their blurry picture with my phone.

I don’t know who Ruby will love when she grows up. And I don’t care. I just want her to love, to be loved and to be happy. I hope that’s what she is learning from me.

18 Responses to One Love

  • Robert C Wallace says:

    Beautiful, just beautiful!

  • Brava, aaryn, because whomever Ruby loves, she will grow up knowing that

    It’s okay.

  • Erin N. says:

    This may be my most favorite post ever =)

  • MidLifeMama says:

    As usual, you say it and show it better than anyone.

  • aaryn b. says:

    Wow, you guys.
    Thank you so much.
    Really. Thank you. I’m so flattered.

  • Anne says:

    Your photos are amazing and your words made me cry. Good cry.

  • Kizz says:

    Damn you (and my period)! Your PFLAG photos made me cry. It wouldn’t be Pride without a few skimpy bikinis but I don’t see any porn here just fun. Thanks for sharing.

  • Many do get nekkid in SF but there are many more family friendly Gay Pride Parades (including Alameda.) Hope more families will take your example!

  • I’m a friend of Skip and Andy’s, Randy (yeah, I know..rhyme all the time). You’re piece was touching, funny, and above all, truthful. Thanks for taking the time to write.

  • Barbarella says:

    What a FANTASTIC report of the parade! I met that guy with the rainbow hair at Mission Valley on Friday (his boyfriend’s a stylist, that’s the best rainbow do I’d ever seen). And I love the pic you took of Carnitas! I must confess, he actually belongs to my friend, I’m just the little piggy’s aunt. I’m going to share your story — people need to realize that Gay Pride is for everyone, especially children. :) Oh,and I am never able to keep my eyes dry when PFLAG marches. Never. xo

  • Aaryn says:

    More thanks, each and every one of you.
    @BRella: I knew you were just caring (so tenderly!) for little Carnitas (typo fixed) but couldn’t squeeze the detail in because I was sooooo tired when I put that post up. Glad you clarified. What a fun day. xo.

  • Suzi says:

    On our commute to work this morning, I read your eloquent, heart-felt, powerful post to Carol, finishing just as we arrived at my work. We kissed our farewell, tears in our eyes, daring to hope that more folks will come to see the beauty and love in our celebration of who we are. Thank you, Aaryn. Yes, for the post, but more for being who you are and empowering Ruby to become ALL THAT, too. Peace.

  • EmpyreanM says:

    This was great coverage of the Pride Parade this year! In terms of Pride Parades and Festivals, San Diego’s ranks on the PG 13 side, and I think that is a good move in a city where the gay rights movement is fairly fledgling outside of the metro area. I mean, as a gay male in San Diego, I wouldn’t really say it is a progressive city. Yes, the leadership is there, and the gay meccas, and I wouldn’t argue that it is the opposite, a regressive city. I just think it’s a sleepy little recreational town whose populace doesn’t participate politically and therefore hasn’t ironed out its point of view as a city. So, yes, we can take kids to Pride, and I’ve seen tons of them there the past couple of years! I mean, if my experience at Election Central in November ’08 (kids from anti-LGBT parents made to stand on chairs and hold hate signs) is any precedent, then we should be educating the next generation of resistance and acceptance, because I guarantee the far right is indoctrinating shiploads of kids and arming them when they turn 16.

  • gary rith says:

    Oh yes, I’d love the rainbow hair too!

  • KG says:

    Aaryn . . . your post made me laugh outloud (Cox) and tear up (all the rest). Thanks for instilling love. Love you for that.

  • Jenn says:

    “I don’t know who Ruby will love when she grows up. And I don’t care. I just want her to love, to be loved and to be happy. I hope that’s what she is learning from me.”

    she is, aaryn, she is… and damn this made me a bit misty. and I’m not even a parent! xoxo

  • Thom Hogan says:

    Connected to this via Barbarella’s fb page and it is wonderful. Read your column many times in CB but sadly not often enough. Thanks for the wonderful picture you portray in your words. Can I post this elsewhere. More people need to know about the parade not just what they’ve heard.

  • TR says:

    More straight people at Pride! Just love the photo of Ruby and her little “friend.” May they one day be able to say they are not just “roommates” and feel loved from everyone who loves them!

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