backwards and in high heels.

Edvard Munchian

Going Rogue or Somewhere Over The Rainbow

(Originally published at The Women’s Colony on Tuesday February 2, 2010.)

I had dinner and drinks last night with two friends from my adoption group. One of them has three adopted children. Her eldest, a 7-year-old son, is from Haiti. My friend went there to meet him when he was ten days old. She lived there [...]

All hail Tweezerman. Now: What to do about this growing up business

After attending a kindergarten forum last night, Sam and I headed to our favorite neighborhood bar for some decompression. Wasn’t it just last week that we were bringing a baby home from Chicago? How is it possible we’re getting her ready to go to school? And is that really a gray eyebrow growing in above [...]

And I finally weigh in on Anita Tedaldi

I’m late to the party but that’s because I’ve been mulling it over and doing a little background research.
Better late than never, though. So, I’ve begun over here.
There will be more.

Grateful

One comb out, a few tears, a great new stylist and 3-1/2 hours later (no, that’s not a typo), this is what her hair looks like.  She chose the “clicky-clackies” and her birthmother chose me.

Dear Busybodies:

She is my own and I am her real mother
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The first night we met Ruby, she pooped in Sam’s hand. It was 11 p.m. in a rented apartment in Chicago. We were exhausted from an entire day of travel, preceded by two sleepless nights spent absorbing the holy-shit-we-have-a-kid realization that most people have nine months [...]

An Adoption Story, From Chicago Public Radio

I think everybody should have to do the Bead Exercise.
And I think everybody should listen to this piece…which you have to do if you want to know what the Bead Exercise is.

God Bless America (aka The Good, The Bad and The Ugly)

Real questions I received from grown adults during a 24-hour period this past weekend. Ruby was within earshot for all of them:
“Adoption? That is so wonderful! I want to adopt my 20-year old maid. I love her but I don’t know how to adopt her.”
“Why is her skin black and yours isn’t?”
“Do you like that [...]

Four years ago today, I met my beautiful daughter

And this morning we had a very frank conversation…
Ruby:  Mama, you need to brush your teeth.
Me:  I already did that, honey. It was the first thing I did when I got up, before I got dressed.
Ruby:  You need to brush your teeth again because your teeth are really dirty.
Me:  My teeth are not dirty! My [...]

Still a long way to go

The following Newsweek web exclusive was sent to me by a friend this morning. There are photos of the family on the Newsweek website. My heart did leaps and plunges while reading. I related to much of it and am heartsick by parts. I’m still percolating…
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Raising Katie
What adopting a white girl taught one black family [...]

The San Diego Reader endorses racism

Josh Board is a writer (if he can be called that) for The Reader, another local San Diego paper. He sent me some fan mail earlier this month saying he thought I was a great addition to CityBeat. We chatted back and forth for a minute, during which time I politely outed myself as a [...]

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