thematically fickle

I glanced at the clock as I reached for my purse flopped on the passenger seat. It was 10:56 a.m. and I needed to hustle. I got out of my car and noticed the dark blue BMW X5 parked directly across from me. Not because I generally notice BMW X5s—expensive cars don’t blow my hair [...]

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Father’s Day in my world has historically held all the importance a birthday party holds for a Jehovah’s Witness. In fact, it’s been such an epic non-event throughout my life that I actually forgot Sam’s very first Father’s Day. A pathetic, writhe-like-a-Redworm-in-fresh-manure move, I know. I hear your gasps and tsk-tsks and would like you [...]

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It began with denial. Several weeks ago, our quiet Toto toilet started making a prolonged and high-pitched hissing sound when flushed. Then one morning not long after, Sam asked whether I’d noticed the shower was slow to drain. I hadn’t noticed, actually. But maybe that’s because I’d decided to boycott bathing until one of [...]

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“This is why terrorists want to kill us.”
That was the stellar comment left on a post at boingboing.net regarding a new picture book for children, and it’s pretty much the exact reaction I had when I saw the illustrated cover of My Beautiful Mommy. The tongue-in-cheek assessment is not without merit: If this book is [...]

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One of the first things my daughter says to me after waking each day—now that she’s evolved from the larval stage of infancy into a strategically manipulative human being—is “Please eat peanut-jelly.” Then she follows it, while shaking her head slowly, with “No hair, mama. No hair today.” Generally speaking, I comply with her first [...]

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The four of us stood in the street looking down at the shattered glass, the many pieces glimmering with the headlights of each passing car. We’d just come from a restaurant in North Park where we’d stuffed our bellies with rich Italian food and red wine and sated our appetite for lengthy bouts of laughter [...]

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Some people say that real men love Jesus. I know some people say this, because they say it loudly on bumper stickers affixed to Mustangs and muscle trucks. To that, I offer this retort: Real men don’t advertise their spirituality on a bumper sticker. I’d like to see that on a car while I’m stuck [...]

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“I wanna get married,
Yes, I need a spouse.
I want a nice Leave it to Beaverish,
Golden retriever and a little white house.
I wanna get married, I need to cook meals.
I wanna pack cute little lunches for my Brady Bunches,
Then read Danielle Steele…”
—Nellie McKay
My home has been transformed from a happy bungalow to a menacing Palace of [...]

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“As a society, we pay a price for our silence. Unchallenged personal, cultural, and institutional racism results in the loss of human potential, lowered productivity, and a rising tide of fear and violence in our society. Individually, racism stifles our own growth and development. It clouds our vision and distorts our perceptions. It alienates us [...]

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All I ever learned in school I get to relearn. 
My friend’s sixth-grade son Evan shuffled into my office the other day.
“Hey, Aaryn. Do you have a calculator?” He came around the corner, offering up a coy smile, his dark eyes partially hidden by a slightly askew, oversized baseball cap. He got braces two weeks ago [...]

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