thematically fickle

The Gaydi Project: Honey, you really dated a lot of frogs. But for all your trouble, I gotta say, you ended up marrying the greatest guy out there.
Me: Yeah. I dated a lot of frogs alright.
TGP: Well, actually, that’s not true. You dated a number of really neat guys, too. Guys that I liked.
Me: Yeah. [...]

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My family is effed up.
I don’t speak with the small man who is my father. I rarely speak with my youngest brother and the one who is just 18-months younger than me? Well. I had to extricate him from my life more than seven years ago. It sounds cruel but it was an act of [...]

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After using a fahncy, marble encased bathroom stall at Bloomingdale’s this afternoon, I met my mother at the row of sinks. Incidentally, for all of her outrageousness, she’s more of a rule-follower than I am and she opted for a regular stall, whereas I have no qualms about using the one intended for the wheelchair [...]

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I’ve heard it said that “The Terrible Two’s” is a myth and that really, what’s terrible are the threes. Ruby won’t be three for another month but I see what’s ahead because ahead has already mowed me down. Sometime during the last week, my beautiful, darling daughter was snatched up and replaced by a person [...]

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When all the rest of the news—global, national, local—is so very bad, this fabulous, rainbow-colored, boa-wearing tid bit sashayed from within my speakers as I drove along Torrey Pines Road, handed me a cosmo and blew me kisses that tingled my spine.  Of course, petitions to put gay marriage before voters are already underway. And [...]

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It began with denial. Several weeks ago, our quiet Toto toilet started making a prolonged and high-pitched hissing sound when flushed. Then one morning not long after, Sam asked whether I’d noticed the shower was slow to drain. I hadn’t noticed, actually. But maybe that’s because I’d decided to boycott bathing until one of [...]

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“This is why terrorists want to kill us.”
That was the stellar comment left on a post at boingboing.net regarding a new picture book for children, and it’s pretty much the exact reaction I had when I saw the illustrated cover of My Beautiful Mommy. The tongue-in-cheek assessment is not without merit: If this book is [...]

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“Ruby, tell mama to stop being so grumpy.”
“STOP! BEING! SO! GRUMPY! MAMA!”
“Ruby, tell daddy to stop being a jerk.”
“…….Daddy not being a jerk… Mama being a JERK!”

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Ruby was having her breakfast this morning and I was sitting across from her, tying my shoelaces, huffing and gasping for air, thanks to my pnuemonia which doesn’t seem to want to loosen it’s suffocating grip on my lungs. Who knew that bending over could be so rigorous?
As I sat up, the kid had one [...]

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Sam was straightening the bedroom and I was burying myself further beneath the pile of blankets, promising as I did so, to drag my ailing self out from under them in just one more minute.
From the kitchen, we heard Ruby exclaim, “Aw, mAAAAAn! What HAPpen my balOOn?!?”
And so began the explanation about a gas called [...]

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