She is sixteen going on seventeen
I woke Ruby this morning, got her dressed and then told her that I needed to rinse her hair in the sink so that I could poof it out a bit. Revitalize it. She started to cry a really slow, dramatic cry and continued until we had her head turned upside down under the faucet. At that point she only whimpered.
When she was all done with a head band in place—two minutes later—she ate her breakfast and watched a little Noggin. I passed through the room on one of my many trips taken while getting ready to leave, and stopped to tell her how brave she was to let me wet her hair (which was completely disingenuous because there is nothing brave about getting water on your hair and she was mostly crying for effect, but I figured a little positive reinforcement would bode well for tomorrow and anyway, it couldn’t hurt to take her seriously).
“You did such a good job letting me rinse your hair, Ruby.”
“I cried,” she said.
“Yes, you did. But you pulled it together and your hair looks great.”
“I cried because I was really stressed out, Mama.”
Wha…??? “You were stressed out, honey?” I tried not to laugh but it was sort of adorable.
“Yes. And what I wanted you to say was, ‘Ruby! I love you!’”
“Well I didn’t know that. I thought you wanted me to say that less because I say it so much.”
“No, I don’t want you to stop saying that because it makes me sad and it really stresses me out.”
An Adoption Story, From Chicago Public Radio
I think everybody should have to do the Bead Exercise.
And I think everybody should
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…which you have to do if you want to know what the Bead Exercise is.Four years ago today, I met my beautiful daughter
And this morning we had a very frank conversation…
Ruby: Mama, you need to brush your teeth.
Me: I already did that, honey. It was the first thing I did when I got up, before I got dressed.
Ruby: You need to brush your teeth again because your teeth are really dirty.
Me: My teeth are not dirty! My breath probably smells like coffee, though…
Ruby: Well, what are you going to do about that?
Me: (…) I think I’m gonna drink some more coffee.
His latest hobby is becoming something of an issue
Sam and I are sitting 15 feet away from each other sending emails and here is what he sends me:
Could be a shank on a meat hook in a slaughterhouse, could be the leg of a cyclist. I know he wants me to think it’s his leg, but I also know he could never get a tan like that in spin class. Still. I decide it’s his leg and salivate a little. Then he sends this:
I roll my eyes. I giggle. I contemplate how much more enticing a woman’s anatomy is than a man’s and consider taking a female lover. I brush off this impractical college throwback notion and look at the picture again.
Then he sends me another and I have to reconsider:
And then one more comes in and my life flashes before my eyes:
New ‘do
I began these Zulu knots (or Bantu knots or “Chinese boys”) last night, but started too late and had to finish tonight. Though time consuming, it’s a very easy style to do.
The hardest part is, well, the part. Or, rather, the many parts. And more than that, the combing of the sections. Ruby isn’t so down with the comb out. But when she wears her purple princess dress, she has Super Brave Magical Powers.
With the help of some deliciously scented Tui Hair Oil, my Fearless Princess looks more like an African Queen.
I hope it goes viral
I dare you to be angry while watching this:
Playing For Change | Song Around The World “Stand By Me” from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.




















