thematically fickle

I’ve heard it said that “The Terrible Two’s” is a myth and that really, what’s terrible are the threes. Ruby won’t be three for another month but I see what’s ahead because ahead has already mowed me down. Sometime during the last week, my beautiful, darling daughter was snatched up and replaced by a person [...]

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What did previous generations ever do without the internets? Need to know the actual lyrics to Blinded by the Light because “wrapped up like a douche” isn’t exactly rock song-y? Ask Jeeves. Have to know where Suriname is located because your friend is assigned to spend the next 27-months there for her Peace Corps stint? [...]

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Thanks to a Sudanese woman I met at a local farmer’s market last week, Ruby got her hair done today and we have no combing for two weeks! I know I just wrote about how important and meaningful that time is for me but, to be honest, combing my child’s hair has been extra challenging [...]

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Me: Do you know where babies come from, Ruby?
Ruby: Yah…?
Me: Where, honey? Where do babies grow?
Ruby: Laura’s tummy!
Me: Well, Alex’s mom did just have a baby grow in her tummy. You’re right. But…did you grow in Laura’s tummy?
Ruby: Nooooooooooo!
Me: Who’s tummy did you grow in?
Ruby: Ella’s!

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One of the first things my daughter says to me after waking each day—now that she’s evolved from the larval stage of infancy into a strategically manipulative human being—is “Please eat peanut-jelly.” Then she follows it, while shaking her head slowly, with “No hair, mama. No hair today.” Generally speaking, I comply with her first [...]

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“Ruby, tell mama to stop being so grumpy.”
“STOP! BEING! SO! GRUMPY! MAMA!”
“Ruby, tell daddy to stop being a jerk.”
“…….Daddy not being a jerk… Mama being a JERK!”

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I’m a hypocrite. It’s true. Only, I’m not an elected official who holds high office and who’s publicly proclaimed to be the Ender of Corruption and who has ruined a very promising career over a little nookie. That would be Eliot Spitzer.
Me, I’m just a mom trying to do right by her daughter, feeling my [...]

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Spoiler alert: If you’re planning on reading Atonement or seeing the movie, you may want to stop reading now and click over here instead. Unless, of course, you can’t help yourself and simply must! know! right! now! what she has to say! In this case, keep reading. But know that I’m about to break the [...]

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…Ruby is enthralled with hers. I can’t say that I blame her. It is a fascinating, magical world down there and how is she supposed to know this if she doesn’t go exploring? Since she graduated to big girl underpants, she’s had easier access and lately, I’ve spotted her standing with her feet in second position, her legs slightly [...]

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Ruby was having her breakfast this morning and I was sitting across from her, tying my shoelaces, huffing and gasping for air, thanks to my pnuemonia which doesn’t seem to want to loosen it’s suffocating grip on my lungs. Who knew that bending over could be so rigorous?
As I sat up, the kid had one [...]

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