thematically fickle

Wanderlust compelled me to cash in Ruby’s burgeoning college fund for two tickets to Europe. That’s right. Only two. Last month, Sam and I left the kid behind with her grandparents wrapped around her finger. Of course, I’m only kidding about spending her life savings; her tuition coffer is intact. But sacrifices were necessary for [...]

[Read more →]

(*Slightly re-vamped and completely regurgitated from a previous blog post. To my very kind and faithful readers—all my you-go-girl!ers and even to my I-read-your-blog-because-I-love-to-hate-youers— my apologies for being redundant.)
I don’t know what got into me with Ruby’s birthday festivities this year, but I put it in my head that I had to perform like a [...]

[Read more →]

I glanced at the clock as I reached for my purse flopped on the passenger seat. It was 10:56 a.m. and I needed to hustle. I got out of my car and noticed the dark blue BMW X5 parked directly across from me. Not because I generally notice BMW X5s—expensive cars don’t blow my hair [...]

[Read more →]

[Read more →]

Father’s Day in my world has historically held all the importance a birthday party holds for a Jehovah’s Witness. In fact, it’s been such an epic non-event throughout my life that I actually forgot Sam’s very first Father’s Day. A pathetic, writhe-like-a-Redworm-in-fresh-manure move, I know. I hear your gasps and tsk-tsks and would like you [...]

[Read more →]

After using a fahncy, marble encased bathroom stall at Bloomingdale’s this afternoon, I met my mother at the row of sinks. Incidentally, for all of her outrageousness, she’s more of a rule-follower than I am and she opted for a regular stall, whereas I have no qualms about using the one intended for the wheelchair [...]

[Read more →]

It began with denial. Several weeks ago, our quiet Toto toilet started making a prolonged and high-pitched hissing sound when flushed. Then one morning not long after, Sam asked whether I’d noticed the shower was slow to drain. I hadn’t noticed, actually. But maybe that’s because I’d decided to boycott bathing until one of [...]

[Read more →]

I’ve said it before: I will never go on a cruise. It’s in my marriage vows. I’ve also said, several times and even very recently: I hate hate. So when I use the term to describe my feelings about something, it’s meaningful in a thoughtful, serious and an I’m-totally-not-kidding kind of way.
This afternoon, as in [...]

[Read more →]

“This is why terrorists want to kill us.”
That was the stellar comment left on a post at boingboing.net regarding a new picture book for children, and it’s pretty much the exact reaction I had when I saw the illustrated cover of My Beautiful Mommy. The tongue-in-cheek assessment is not without merit: If this book is [...]

[Read more →]

One of the first things my daughter says to me after waking each day—now that she’s evolved from the larval stage of infancy into a strategically manipulative human being—is “Please eat peanut-jelly.” Then she follows it, while shaking her head slowly, with “No hair, mama. No hair today.” Generally speaking, I comply with her first [...]

[Read more →]