Can we all just take a deep breath or is that simply too dangerous at this juncture?
I’m beginning to think I’m the only one left on the planet who isn’t completely engulfed in panic over The New Flu Pandemic. Don’t get me wrong: There are things about it that are disconcerting: Like everyone else, I don’t want my kid to get sick and I don’t want to get sick.
Admittedly, when I’ve allowed myself to dwell in that cordoned off yet inventive place within my head, I’ve managed to create a number of dreadful future scenarios that mimic José Saragamo’s Blindness. An all-encompassing outbreak of anything is not something I’d like to experience. Unless that outbreak is people being overwhelmingly kind to each other for no fucking explainable reason whatsoever, in which case, I’d be licking handrails and shopping cart handles and eating my daughter’s dropped raisins off the bathroom floor at the zoo. Which is huge for me because I hate raisins.
CNN ran the following headlines on their website tonight, in this in exact order:
- Specter move puts Dems close to magic number
- Face mask demand surges, but do they work?
- Regular flu has killed thousands in 2009
- Why has swine flu killed only in Mexico?
- Why swine flu scares us
- CNN answers your swine flu FAQs
- At least 4 die in California tour-bus crash
I glanced over this list of fear-inducing headlines and couldn’t help but wonder how many of the four victims of the tour-bus crash spent their last days/hours/minutes/seconds fretting about the Swine Flu. Using all the people I’ve spoken to since Sunday night as a sample size from which to extrapolate data, I’d hypothesize that at least three of the four now-deceased passengers were consumed with worry. My point being, what’s the point?
The way I see it, there really isn’t much we can do about this situation besides wash our hands a lot, stay home if we get sick and not eat mishandled raisins off the damp tile floors of public loos. Oh, and don’t go to Mexico.
Poor Mexico. My heart is breaking for Mexico.
Poor slob, slob without a name
So here I am. At WordPress. With my very own url, with which I struggled for so long because, like, who is that person anyway? I guess this means I’m all grown up…though, if that’s really the case, then how come I stuck my tongue out at my husband tonight then turned on my heel and stomped away when he tried to get me to put the kid to bed? I had theme-browsing to do: Hell-OH! And it was his turn to read about Carl’s Sleepy Lame-Ass-Boring-As-Toll-Booth-Work Afternoon anyway. Harumph.
Now, this particular theme is sort of a stop-over theme, and things will likely be morphing around these parts for a while. Bear with me if you can stand it. Please. It may take some time for me to get my sh*t together because quite frankly, it’s everywhere. Fortunately for all of us—except for my Administrator Extraordinaire—I’m working with a professional.
(Billable hours, Joe. Billable hours.)
I’m Still Over There…
If you’ve stopped by to see what I’m ranting about today, you’ll have to go to the other site. I haven’t fully transitioned so I’m still posting over on that other blog service. Hopefully, I’ll be up and ranting over here soon!
Limited Internet Time.
This is one of the most fabulous cities in the world.
Will report back later after my feet heel and my hangover goes away.
Have Time For A Quick Call?
I received the following email this morning from Colors of Change . If you feel so moved—and after doing a little research of your own using the links at the bottom—please call your senator if she/he is on this list. I have become a cynic these past six years and I’m unsure if it makes any difference but still, I called. It only took a moment.
_____________________________________________________________________
Dear Aaryn,
Tomorrow, the full Senate will vote on President Bush’s 5th Circuit court nominee, Leslie Southwick. Southwick’s record has been horrible on race and civil rights.1 In 1998, he joined a ruling to reinstate a White social worker fired for calling a Black colleague “a good ole nigger,” upholding the claim that using the phrase was equivalent to calling the colleague a “teacher’s pet”. This is after Southwick fought to keep Mississippi an employment-at-will state, where an employer can fire an employee for any reason.2
Southwick’s rulings and statements show that he is not committed to equal justice and has no place on the 5th circuit court. But one or more of your senators is wavering. Can you take a moment to call them and ask that they vote against Southwick’s confirmation?
Find your senator(s) below:
Arkansas: Blanche Lincoln 202-224-4843, Mark Pryor 202-224-2353
California: Diane Feinstein 202-224-3841 (if no answer, try 415-393-0707)
Delaware: Tom Carper 202-224-2441
Colorado: Ken Salazar 202-224-5852
Louisiana: Mary Landrieu 202-224-5824
Montana: Max Baucus 202-224-2651, Jon Tester 202-224-2644
Pennsylvania: Robert Casey 202-224-6324
South Dakota: Tim Johnson 202-224-5842
Missouri: Claire McCaskill, 202-224-6154
When you call, introduce yourself and say that you’re calling about the Southwick nomination. Tell them that a judge like Southwick who seems unable to uphold the principle of equal justice should not be given a federal judgeship, and that you expect that the senator will vote NO on his confirmation.
Then let us know you called by emailing us at calls@colorofchange.org.
In the case mentioned, the judges’ ruling accepted Bonnie Richmond’s argument that her use of “good ole nigger” was not motivated by racial hatred, but that it was a “shorthand way” of describing the relationship between her colleague and a supervisor.
Two other judges in the case offered strong dissenting opinions and criticized the majority for presenting a “sanitized” version of the findings, stating, “The hearing officer’s ruling that calling [the co-worker] a ‘good ole nigger’ was equivalent to calling her ‘teacher’s pet’ strains credulity… The word ‘nigger’ is, and has always been, offensive. Search high and low, you will not find any non-offensive definition for this term. There are some words, which by their nature and definition are so inherently offensive, that their use establishes the intent to offend.” The Mississippi Supreme Court followed by unanimously reversing Southwick’s ruling.
At his hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Southwick was given the opportunity to address concerns about his record on civil rights. Senator Durbin (D-IL) asked if he could think of one example of an unpopular decision he made in favor of the powerless, the poor, minorities or the dispossessed. Judge Southwick responded, “no.” And in response to a written question posed by Senator Durbin, Judge Southwick indicated that he could not find a single non-unanimous case, of the more than 7000 opinions that he wrote or joined, in which he voted in favor of a civil rights plaintiff.3
Your Senator is wavering, saying they’re not convinced Southwick’s civil rights record is troubling enough to deny his confirmation. They are wrong4 and for them to vote for his confirmation is unacceptable. Bush needs to submit nominees for federal courts who demonstrate a commitment to protecting all Americans. Senators who care about equal rights and equal treatment need to stand against nominees who don’t.
Please call your senator or senators today, and ask them to vote NO on Southwick.
Thank You and Peace,
– James, Van, Clarissa, Gabriel, Mervyn, and the rest of the ColorOfChange.org team
October 22nd, 2007
References:
1. Leslie Southwick: Another Attempt at Judicial Activism
2. Who is Leslie Southwick? American Constitution Society Blog
3. Alliance for Justice Posthearing Report on Leslie Southwick
4. People for the American Way letter to Senators Leahy and Specter
Love, Loss and Survivorship
In April, I wrote a post about a Flickr friend of mine whose teenage son, Martin, was dying of cancer. Many of you commented on the post or sent me private emails extending your thoughts and prayers to both Martin and his father, Malcolm. Malcolm was very appreciative of the outpouring he received, including that of the readers here, and has stated many times in his pictures how helpful this has been for him. Sadly, 17-year old Martin died just days after I wrote that post. Since that time, I’ve kept tabs on Malcolm through email and have witnessed his grieving as portrayed in his photography. Now Malcolm has written his story for the Utatan, where it is posted under the photojournalism tab, and he’s graciously allowed me to offer up a link.
Please click here to see a sampling of Malcolm’s photos and to read, in his own words, about his journey.
Consider It A Public Service Announcement (Not Appropriate For Children Or Right Wingers Or Anyone Disinterested In Pleasuring A Woman)
So, what you’re about to read wasn’t written by me. But by God, I wish it were. It’s awesome. It was sent to me by a friend who found it on “Best of CraigsList” and I really hope I don’t get in any trouble with the author for posting it here (I repeat, it was NOT written by me). She lives somewhere in Nashville and I’d just like to say to her if she happens to stumble on over, that I’d like to buy her a cocktail or seven. Read on:
________________________________________________________________________
When women get together and talk about sex, inevitably, we talk about good sex and bad sex, and we all have pretty much the same complaints about bad sex.
I originally posted this in the WFM section, where it was removed because it was more of a rant. So much for trying to help a few guys learn a few things about sex.
For some reason, men and women don’t like to talk about what makes great sex with their partner, when it will do the most good. And, seriously, that is a shame.
I’m not a man-hater or a ballbuster, but at 41, I know what good sex is and what it isn’t, and when a group of women get together and start talking about sex, and WE ALL have the SAME TYPES of complaints, there’s a trend there.
If you don’t want to learn, don’t read. If you think all of this stuff is fine with you and your woman, well, you can keep on making the same stupid mistakes, she can keep faking orgasm with you and you’ll never learn how to be a better lover. It’s your life. I’m doing you guys a favor, so pay attention here. This is for your own good. Well, that and your partner’s. Trust me – she IS thinking these things, she’s just afraid to tell you because you might get your wittle feewins huwt. Which is too bad for everybody, because sex really isn’t that difficult, if you just talk to each other about what makes it good for each of you. So — pay attention.
1. Stop talking so much during sex. I don’t mean “oooh, baby” “God, that feels good,” “Oh, yea,” etc. I mean, sex is not the time for a running conversation. Don’t ask, every other minute, “Is this right? What do you want me to do next? Do you like this? Do you like that? Do you like this? Do you like this? Am I doing this right? What do you want to do next? What do you want to do now? Do you like this? What do you want me to do next? Do you like it when I do this? Want me to [whatever]? Does that feel good to you? Am I doing this right? Do you want to [whatever]?”
Are you seeing a pattern there? Yes, communication is important. Yes, we want to know it feels good and we want to tell you it feels good. We don’t want to take a fucking final exam, no pun intended. We don’t want to play 20 questions in the middle of sex. SHUT UP!!! Talking is okay, showing your appreciation is great, but if you’d just pay attention to her body signals, you wouldn’t have to ask so many fucking questions.
2a. Never — never — NEVER use the words “mama” and “daddy” during sex. NEVER. The answer to “Does mama like it when daddy sucks her clit?” doesn’t matter because just the words Mama and Daddy shut the pleasure sensors down. Don’t. Do. It.
2b. Absolutely never never never say “Daddy likes his cock in Mama’s mouth” when you’re in her mouth. Regardless of her gag reflex, you might get vomited on.
3a. Stop with the smacking kisses. It’s like listening to cows eat. Stop it.
3b. And, speaking of kisses….you don’t have to stick your tongue down her throat the entire time. A great kiss can also involve lots of lip movement and no tongue. Try it.
4a. Do not — I repeat DO NOT — take her clit in your mouth and shake your head hard like a dog. What in the world makes you think that could possibly feel good? Oh, let me guess. You saw it in a porn movie. Dumbass.
4b. Do not suck and pull the labia to the point of stretching. Why would you do that? Did you not get enough pacifiers when you were a baby? Why? (If you don’t know what labia is, you’re too young to be reading this email anyway.)
4c. If you really don’t know how to give good oral sex, remember the alphabet trick. If you don’t know the alphabet trick, it’s simple. Draw the letters of the alphabet on her pussy/over her clit with your tongue. Really, it is that simple. If you’ll pay attention while you’re doing it, you can tell which movements she really likes, too, and you can concentrate on those.
4d. By the way, your tongue has a pointed end and a flat side. Use both of them. If, after oral sex, your frenulum (look it up) feels tender or stretched, you’re stretching your tongue too much during oral sex. Put your mouth closer to her clit, and you won’t have that problem. If you dislike performing oral sex so much that you’re doing your best Gene Simmons imitation anyway, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it at all. She can tell you’re not really into it, you know.
4e. If in doubt, remember: soft licks work best. Smashing your face hard in her pussy won’t get her there faster. Start with soft licks and when she’s holding your head by the ears and pushing up against your face, you’ll know you’re working it right.
4f. And while I’m on the subject of hard and soft….go gentle with the fingers in the vagina and anus thing. The trick is to add stimulation, not make her feel like she’s getting a gyno exam. Ramming your fingers up there just hurts. When you have to chase her ass up the bed, it’s because she’s trying to get away from the pointed spear that is your finger.
4g. There is no need to say, “oh yea” and smack your lips every 10 seconds when your mouth is occupied down there. How is a woman supposed to relax into oral sex if you keep removing your mouth from where it’s doing the most good? You’re losing her. Stop it.
4h. DO NOT BITE HER CLIT. A little teeth scraping, a small nibble while you suck, okay. Biting? BITING???? What the fuck do you think you’re doing??? Do you like teeth used on your penis? I didn’t think so. Just think of it this way. All those nerve endings you have on a few inches of penis…sorry, I forgot, I’m on Craigslist….All those nerve endings you have on 12 throbbing inches of penis are, on her, concentrated in one little bud called the clitoris. I repeat – DO NOT BITE HER CLIT.
Class dismissed.
EDITED: Yes, there are exceptions. I’m sure some women like to be called “mama” during sex. Go figure. Yes, some of this is based on personal experience. Most of it, however, comes from conversations with my girlfriends. Don’t believe me? Print this out and show it to a woman you know.
In My Next Life
If Venus and Aaryn had a child
Originally uploaded by katester.
Thanks, Katie, for having the vision.
Never Trust A Man With Bad Shoes
As if he’s not hideous enough to look at already, he has to go put on a short-sleeved button-down cowboy shirt, a pair of knickers, black socks and—shudder!—Crocs. He should repent. He should be impeached for this outfit alone.
