Why I’m more qualified than Sarah Palin to be Vice President

New ‘do

I began these Zulu knots (or Bantu knots or “Chinese boys”) last night, but started too late and had to finish tonight. Though time consuming, it’s a very easy style to do.

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The hardest part is, well, the part. Or, rather, the many parts. And more than that, the combing of the sections. Ruby isn’t so down with the comb out. But when she wears her purple princess dress, she has Super Brave Magical Powers.

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With the help of some deliciously scented Tui Hair Oil, my Fearless Princess looks more like an African Queen.

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HuffPo: I love you but your endless news cycle is going to put me in a straight-jacket

Okay. I’m about to go off and say some totally inappropriate stuff. Just…yeah. You don’t want to see me when I’m angry.

1. Republicans have learned nothing from their failed policies. They remain more determine for their ideology to trump progress. They choose to be be anti-American obstructionists rather than becoming genuine patriots working to make the future better for American citizens (and citizens of the world, too, but this is a bit much to ask of these ethno-centric lizards). But, as we were reminded late last week, Obama won. And President Obama (!)? He’s got the back of thinking people and is proving it every day, even while his detractors work and hope for his failure. I cried as I read this just now. Equality for all citizens—including the right for gays to marry—is not only possible with this new administration but is an eventuality. And while it will take more time, even the narrow-minded fear mongers on the right can’t stop it.

2. Democrats did compromise for the Repubs by removing money for infrastructure and stripping the bill of funding desginated for family planning (still, the unscrupulous righties balked because this way, they mostly get what they want while distancing themselves from the legislation should it pass and fail to work). As I see it, the problem with removing family planning dollars is that people like this vile woman continue to somehow wind up pregnant because, geegollygosh! I have no idea how that happened?!? (Insert eyelash batting here.) It’s one of those uncontrollable things, right? One day you sneeze and ShaZAYam! More self-righteous republicans on the planet. I say we need some forced sterilization in that bill. Just sayin’. Too bad gays can’t pro-create and populate the planet with a whole bunch of mini-gays. Wouldn’t that be a party? We need to get ‘em marriage rights first, then we can work on impregnating all of them, preferably with multiples.

3. Speaking of multiples and the need for mandatory tubal ligation and vasectomy, my uterus nearly exploded while reading this. The woman was in the hospital for seven weeks prior to having her litter and the puppies will remain in hospital for another couple of months. That family must have some really awesome health insurance. I wonder if it covered the fertility drugs…. Whether they have the best insurance policy on the planet or none at all is irrelevant, really, because either way, the rest of us are helping to foot the bill for this family (and I’m not speaking about financial assistance). A family which incidentally? Includes six older siblings. Social responsibility? Anyone? Anyone? They have yet to show their faces to the public and I can’t say that I blame them. I’d be in hiding, too.

4. Really. She expects us to believe that they were having mind-blowing sex? Mmmmhmmmm.

5. What year is it again?

We shall overcome: But we must have real leadership to do so

(As published today in San Diego CityBeat.)

Poor ACORN. The social-justice organization has been an unfortunate victim of John McCain’s inflammatory tactics.

The poster child for a GOP-invented voter-registration fraud, ACORN is this election’s lanky geek who’s being bloodied and brutalized by the puffed-up neighborhood bullies. And as The Huffington Post reports, the bullies are feeling dangerously emboldened.

Not only have at least two of its offices been vandalized in recent weeks, but ACORN has also been the recipient of extremely disturbing e-mails and voicemails that can only be attributed to Real Americans. You know, the ones Sarah Palin is talkin’ to and, also, winkin’ at, the ones who reside in the “pockets” of Real America. Because those of us Fake Americans in the Fake America? We don’t believe in hate speech or intimidation as a means to an end.

The e-mails to ACORN contained, among other things, a threat to the life of a manager and a directive that all “blue gums” and “porch monkeys” high-tail it back to Africa. Alas, the voicemails weren’t any subtler. One caller’s favorite word rhymed with a comparative form of the adjective “big,” and she spoke of things other than acorns that she hoped would hang from oak trees. I heard her; she was horrid.

Thankfully, the Internet is available in both Americas so we can come together as one, listen to these comments and be not the least bit confused as to how far we still have to go in this diverse nation.

Given this country’s violent racial history and the fact that we are one swing-state combo away from electing a black man to lead us out of this morass, it’s not shocking that racism would become a flashpoint in this election. But the fact that a candidate would intentionally incite the bigoted few—and not be widely condemned for it—is appalling.

After the second presidential debate, I asked readers of my blog whether they felt McCain’s reference to Obama as “that one” was a racially charged remark. Though a few people expressed concern that it might be, the overwhelming opinion was that he is just an out-of-touch geezer. I happen to disagree with this naïve assessment: I believe his remark was specifically intended to degrade Obama, a belief that’s been underscored by unfolding events. Given the kinds of statements he and his representatives had been making up until that night, I had little doubt that calling Obama “that one” was an effort to delineate him—and, in effect, other brown people—as an “other” to be feared.

While McCain and his pathological liar of a running mate haven’t themselves uttered obvious words of racism, they have smilingly relied on coded language. They’ve used words—and combinations of them—with double entendres nearly as indiscernible as a dog whistle when taken individually. But collectively they’re as plain as the melanoma scar on McCain’s jaw.

McCain the Matador waved his red flag before the glazed-over eyes of the smoldering bull with sneering references to “community organizing.” And the bull was frenzied by the time the candidate offered his pre-debate battle cry of, “I’m gonna whip his you-know-what!” An interesting choice of words, given historical context, and I would argue this was not accidental.

Meanwhile, when asked why he does not immediately denounce unsavory outbursts at his rallies, McCain blinks and clenches and takes the I-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about approach.

To be fair, he did attempt to correct a few bigots at one of his rallies. But he didn’t go far enough. McCain stood down when he had an opportunity to stand for something. He could have publicly stated that further outbursts would be met with expulsion from events. He could have publicly stated that Arab-Americans and Muslim-Americans are, in fact, Americans. He could have publicly stated that there is no room for bigotry and hate in civil discourse. He could have publicly stated that lawyers will address any wrongdoing at ACORN but the death threats and vile accusations toward the organization, it’s workers, it’s beneficiaries and, yes, his opponent must absolutely, unequivocally, immediately stop.

He could have led, but he didn’t.

In contrast, upon hearing his supporters boo his opponent during a speech on Oct. 21, Obama told the crowd, calmly but firmly, “No, no, we don’t need that. We need you to vote.” Certainly, not an issue as inflammatory as the one created and perpetuated by McCain, but Obama’s already been tested in this way.

Time journalist Joe Klein recently asked Obama about his gut feeling on dealing with the explosive remarks of the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. Obama said, “My gut was telling me that this was a teachable moment and that if I tried to do the usual political damage control instead of talking to the American people like an adult—like they were adults and could understand the complexities of race—that I would be not only doing damage to the campaign but missing an important opportunity for leadership.”

This was no gut feeling that put us in an endless war or gave us an unqualified nominee for vice president. No indeed. From this gut feeling came one of the most important and meaningful speeches on race that I’ve ever heard anyone deliver in my lifetime. Apparently, those Real Americans who called ACORN with their snippets of wisdom missed it.

The next four years will hold many opportunities for leadership, one of them being bridging the chasm between Real and Fake America. The choice couldn’t be more obvious. To paraphrase the conservative writer Andrew Sullivan, Obama is the future and we must decide if the future will begin Nov. 5.

I know where Congress can get some cash, but quick:

Revoke the tax-free status on all churches immediately. In fact, in face of this current crisis, I suggest they levy a hefty back tax—plus interest—for their endorsements in 2000 and 2004.

This Sunday, 33 pastors will be endorsing candidates from their pulpits and here’s what one of them has to say:

“I’m going to talk about the un-biblical stands that Barack Obama takes. Nobody who follows the Bible can vote for him,” said the Rev. Wiley S. Drake of First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park. “We may not be politically correct, but we are going to be biblically correct. We are going to vote for those who follow the Bible.”

Who are these people and how did they get so stuck back there on the evolutionary chain? Oh…! Right! There’s no such thing as evolution. Just ask Sarah Palin. She’ll tell ya!

People: I could totally be Vice President. And this would be my running mate: